In most sexual abuse and exploitation cases other inappropriate behavior comes first. Most of this behavior is subtle and/or confusing to the client/patient. The behavior usually feels uncomfortable to the client/patient and is often gradual and difficult to detect and understand.
The following violations are all danger signs that something may be seriously wrong with your therapist. I have highlighted all of the Red Flags that my wife experienced.
- Therapist tells sexual jokes or stories.
- Therapist discusses the therapist’s sex life or relationships.
- Therapist sits too close, initiating hugging, holding the patient or lying next to the patient.
- Therapist invites patient to lunch, dinner or other social activities.
- Therapist suggests a date or dating patient.
- Therapist changes the office’s business practices or schedules late appointments when no one is around.
- Therapist suggests having sessions or meetings outside of or away from the office.
- Therapist tells patient that he or she is special or that the therapist loves him or her.
- Providing or using alcohol or drugs during sessions.
- Suggesting or supporting the patient’s isolation from the patients support systems.
- Creates dependency on the therapist.
- Therapist asks for personal favors.
- Pushes you to disclose or discuss anything before you are ready.
- Touches you in any way that is uncomfortable.
- Therapist asks questions about your sex life when you are talking about an unrelated issue.
- Therapist offers to cut fees, see you for extended sessions with or without fee.
- Therapist tells you not to talk about your therapy with anyone else, that therapy is a secret.
- Therapist talks to you about his/her other patients.
- Therapist tells you, explicitly or implicitly, to stay away from friends and family.
- Therapist touches, fondles, hugs, or otherwise makes overt physical contact with you.
- Therapist gives you gifts or accepts them from you without discussion about their meaning.
- Therapist suggests that you trust him/her absolutely.
- Therapist asks you to work for or with him/her.
- Therapist requests detailed information on your finances.
- Therapist uses fines or other types of punishment for infraction of his/her imposed rules.
- Therapist seeks to borrow money, your car, or other of your belongings.
- Therapist shows up at your house or suggests that your house would be an appropriate place to meet.
- Therapist tries to get you together socially or romantically with his/her other patients.
- Therapist threatens you in any way.
- Therapist promises to be your caretaker and/or to protect you from others.
- Therapist justifies any behavior by telling you that you are special
- Therapist tells you that he/she has never felt this way about a patient before.
- Therapist does not have sufficient and specific training to address your issues.
- Therapist attempts to treat problems outside the scope of their experience or practice.
- Therapist is not interested in the changes you want to make or your goals for therapy.
- Therapist tries to mold you into their form.
- Therapist cannot define how they will help you to solve the issue or concern that brought you to therapy.
- Therapist provides no explanation of when you will know your therapy is complete.
- Therapist does not seek consultation with other therapists.
- Therapist makes guarantees and/or promises.
- Therapist has unresolved complaints filed with a licensing board.
- Therapist does not provide you with information about your rights as a client.
- Therapist is judgmental or critical of your behavior, lifestyle, or problems.
- Therapist looks down at you or treats you as inferior.
- Therapist blames your family, friends, or partner.
- Therapist encourages you to blame your family, friends, or partner.
- Therapist knowingly/unknowingly gets personal psychological needs met at the expense of your therapy.
- Therapist tries to be your friend.
- Therapist initiates touch without consent.
- Therapist attempts to have a sexual or romantic relationship with you.
- Therapist tries to enlist your help with something not related to your therapy.
- Therapist discloses your identifying information without authorization or mandate.
- Therapist tells you the identities of other clients.
- Therapist discloses they have done personal therapy work.
- Therapist cannot accept feedback or admit mistakes.
- Therapist focuses extensively on diagnosing without also helping you to change.
- Therapist talks too much.
- Therapist does not talk at all.
- Therapist often speaks in complex terms that leaves you confused.
- Therapist acts as if they have the answers or solutions to everything and spends time telling you how to best fix or change things.
- Therapist believes that only the therapist’s counseling approach works and ridicules other approaches to therapy.
- Therapist is contentious with you or frequently confrontational.
- Therapist does not pay attention or appear to be listening and understanding you.
- Therapist answers the phone during your session.
- Therapist is not sensitive to your culture or religion.
- Therapist denies or ignores the importance of your spirituality.
- Therapist tries to push spirituality or religion on to you.
- Therapist does not empathize.
- Therapist empathizes too much.
- Therapist seems overwhelmed with your problems.
- Therapist seems overly emotional, affected, or triggered by your feelings or issues.
- Therapist pushes you into highly vulnerable feelings or memories against your wishes.
- Therapist avoids exploring any of your emotional or vulnerable feelings.
- Therapist does not ask your permission to use various psychotherapeutic techniques.
- Therapist tries to get you to exert overt control over your impulses, compulsions, or addictions without helping you to appreciate and resolve the underlying causes.